Tod is death
by SummerTam
Summary: The crew takes a job that turns out to be quite a handful. A new member will revitalize friendships, bring back old memories, open old wounds. M for later chapies


My name is Tod. The story I am about to tell you is true. You may not believe it but you need to know. The verse must know! The very people who lead you have lied to you. What would you give to know the truth? Would that lead you to revolt, or would that lead you to fear. Whichever you choose, you have a right to know and the right to decide.

It was a hazy autumn in the Ariel markets. The crowds bustled through each other forming ripples that almost resembled a large scale ballet production. Looking down showed the chaos as a work of pure beauty, Civilization at it's best.

For a while I stood leaning over the railing as I watched the sophisticated and the unremarkable both participating in this exotic, and to most mundane, ritual of shopping in a bazaar. Often times it seemed to me to be an almost gratifying skill to see the ordinary as more than a piece of life's circle but a beautiful act of human nature.

I heard a noise behind me and when I turned to see what had made it I saw my mother come at me stabbing me in the head with a spike. The visions always seemed to continue on forever. At times they threatened to take me, to make me lose myself in the void in the verse where nothing ever returns. I have felt it happen to others as if I was them as if I had lost myself as they had. What must have been whole years were blended into a giant sea of night.

Unknown to me or anyone else around me this was to be my last day of torment. My father had seen through the shroud that had confused many before him. He had gotten contacts to get into the building, but it was by sheer force that he was able to get to me. The one thing he never expected was to fight me. I remember it now as if I had watched it instead of lived it. I remember seeing the hall. That long dark hall marked by the Roman numeral M. 1000, that was my hall, the hall that would change the future of a ship and its crew forever.

I remember seeing my father come running up the hall with a squadron of armed soldiers shooting bolter blasts after him. I remember smiling at the sight of pure terror on the soldiers faces as they stopped dead in their tracks. My father, noticing their halt, paused to look up and smile at me. I remember smiling back with that smug and arrogant smile I had worn as I had put many men to their graves.

The soldiers, seeing this before, knew better than to stick around and thus ran like cattle trying to stay clear of the butcher's knife. I hated them all, the cowards that had called themselves soldier and the mercenaries who had the arrogance to call themselves the best. They would all fear me as they should. I would show them the meaning of true fear and terror.

My mind focused back on my father. He had began to catch his breathe. I saw the love in his eyes as he looked up at me. I felt pity for him. It was the feeling of pity that further fueled my anger, for a weakling like this to be my parental unit. It was a disgrace.

"James! What are you just standing there for? You were supposed to be locked up so, I could shoot open the door like u did to the front door. Remember?"

"How were you able to get up here in such a rushed and ill-conceived attempt at a rescue?" I remember saying in a tone as cold as space itself

"Hey there, son! No need to get rude I'm here to save you."

"So that is what you're doing? But here's a question for you. Who's gunna save you?"

"What are you talking about? The 'Feds' gone and run off."

"What is going to save you from me?"

"Wha…."

And like a flash I was on him, knife in hand. I knew that he wouldn't know what to do. I knew his mind was struggling to understand. I could feel it as I plunged my knife into his chest. And like that it was over. I could feel myself coming back. I could feel the control fading. I could feel myself begin to weep. It all seemed so foreign, yet so relieving. As I looked down at my fathers dying body I kneeled down to look into his face, the face of my father, the man I had killed. He looked up at me with a look of pure incredulity. It was pure agony to see him in this state.

"Vater verzeihen mir bitte! " I pleaded _**(father, please forgive me!)**_

"Mein Sohn, Sie haben keinen Grund zu schämen. Sie kommen zurück in die Welt." _**(my son you have no reason to be ashamed. you have come back into the world.)**_

"Vater! Mien papa!" _**( Father! My papa!)**_

"There is a ship in the dock. She will be expecting you. She will be in dock L32. Go! Catch your boat!"

"Verabschieden alte Wolf." _**(goodbye old wolf.)**_

"Verabscheiden Junge Tolpatsch." _**(goodbye young cub.)**_

I laid his head down on the floor, slowly pulled out the knife, and stood up. Looking down the hall I found myself ready to kill anything and everything that stood in my way. I would get to that ship; I would make a life for myself. I would live for the both of us. I ran down the hall and followed the path that my feet ran searching for some sorry fool to cross my path. I found that fool in the D54 hallway, coming out of the monitoring station.

I was upon him in a second. Springing at him like a lion in the midst of the hunt. I hit him full on in the stomach with a dropkick. As he fell back on his side I landed in a crouch, and sprang towards the man, knife stabbing right through the throat. The Blood ran down my arm as I eased my arm and pulled out the knife. I could feel the emptiness left behind as his soul left his body. I stood up and began to run again towards the security station and the service elevator that would take me to the docks.

Before I even reached for the controls on the security station door I knew the number of troops in the room and where they were. There were four men. Two were armed, one was polishing his gun, and the last one was getting some coffee. Before I knew what I was going to do I found the door opening and I felt myself jump through the doorway, taking the two armed men on their way to patrol full in their faces. With one hand I stabbed the one on the right with the knife and with the other I broke the other's neck.

The other two soldiers, noticing the deaths of their comrades, turned to run down the stairs. I killed one by throwing the knife through his back and pounced out still kneeling to catch the other's leg with a quick hit to the side of his knee. The Soldier fell in a heap as I kneeled over him. Noticing my movements, I could feel him physically tense.

"I'm not going to kill you. You are going to be my messenger. Do you understand?" I said in a tone that resembled an adult comforting a hurt child "You tell them that I will return for them. I will find this place, when it moves, and I will free the treasure you hold. You tell them that I will find them and I will kill them. I will kill them all."

I stood up and began my slow descent to the docking bay where I would find River. Yes River was down there. She came back. I would go to River and to my freedom.

As the Elevator door opened I felt a strong feeling of fear and tension. The fear was undoubtedly from river, she knew i was coming and could sense the change. Though unable to see her i could still tell that her outwardly calm appeal was far from real. It was weird for one of us. to be able to mask our fear. It was even more unusual for one of us to be able to feel what the others were feeling. I had never been able to do that before and i wondered if I had been given a gift or a curse.

I calmly strode towards the firefly ship now docked in front of me. I looked forward to my newly found freedom. I almost fear seeing river again. She was the reason I was there, the reason I was who I was now. She was the reason I was this killing machine.

As I neared the entrance to the firefly, I saw her. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Cloaked in a vale of light she stood ready to fight and ready to kill. She seemed to be calm and ready for anything, but I knew the truth, I knew she was a nervous wreck.


End file.
